Bullied
by TheZombieBait
Summary: AU. Possibly OOC characters. Finn Nelson is Rae Earl's biggest tormentor. Will she survive her senior year with all the bullying? And will she ever discover why the fittest lad in the school hates her so?
1. Chapter 1

Rae's Pov:

I had another fight with mum. She just doesn't understand. I can't go back to college. Not again. The gang's waiting for me. He's waiting for me. I can't return to that hell.

Things weren't always like this. Chloe and I used to be best friends. She's the one who introduced me to the gang members- Izzy, Chop, Finn, and Archie. That was the ninth grade. I was in heaven. It was the first time a guy had asked me out. Heck, first time one had shown the slightest interest in me- a fat piece of lard.

I was head over heels Archie. Should've known it'd be too good to last...maybe I have my own big fat mouth to blame for. You see- there was just one problem. Finn Nelson. The gang leader. That grumpy sod had something against me from the beginning. So you can't blame me for being defensive. I was just as rude back to him as he to me.

Maybe I should have known better than to mess with him. But being with Archie had messed with my head. I'd been soaring too high. The more he and I hung out- the more Finn turned aggressive towards me. One day I'd had enough of his behaviour. He called me a desperate slut as I sat gushing over Archie to the rest of the gang. I slapped him. And from that day on, everything changed.

I became the despised outcast. Archie dumped me with an apologetic look. No explanation given. The worst betrayal was Chloe's. It was worse than the feelings of heartbreak. I went back to being the laughing stock of the entire school. But this time I had no friend. No supporter. And worst of all- the so-called fittest lad of the school became my personal tormentor.

In these three years of constant ridicule and torture, I'd been hurting myself. It got so bad that I was institutionalised in the summer. Nobody but my mum knew about it. Now that I was in therapy and maybe recovering...was it even possible?...I did NOT want to go back to what brought me to it.

But mum wouldn't hear of it. She said as long as I was living under her roof, I had to follow her rules. I had to go back and finish my senior year. Even if it ended up finishing me. She has no idea of what I've been through. If only she'd care to think she has a daughter who needs her...her world revolves around her diets and that Karim.

The nightmare begins tomorrow...


	2. Chapter 2

Rae's POV:

So far I'd managed to keep a low profile- as low a profile you can maintain while lugging fourteen stones of blobby mass around with you. Even though I'd lost two stones over the stress of previous year, I'll always be the...thing...blob...whale...and whatever else they called me.

I bent my face down to my locker and hurriedly put away my books. A few more minutes and I could be free. The corridor was near empty. I'd been held back by the school counselor. A waste of time, really.

Suddenly I heard voices and laughter echoing just around the far end of the corridor. I froze. My heart began to pound wildly in my chest. I recognized the voices. It was _them_.

I had to move quickly. I looked for somewhere to hide. Nothing. There was only one thing to do. _Run_. As if I could ever hope to make it to the end of the corridor before they saw me. But it was better to try than remain where I was. Buy myself some more time. Maybe I'd get lucky and run into some teacher.

Just as I turned around to race down the long corridor, an all too cheery and familiar voice froze me in my place.

'Well, look who it is!' I cringed.

There was no way I could completely ignore them and keep moving. I knew the consequences of doing _that_ unfortunately. I braced myself and turned around. It was the trio.

Chop was making his way towards me with a crooked grin. It was him who'd called out. He was the crude one. The clown of the group. Chop never passed a chance to pass jokes at my expense though he was less malicious than the girls. I was grateful there was no sign of them at least.

I spotted Archie next. He would be the tolerable one out of them all except that my wound was still fresh. The sight of him caused me almost a physical pain even after three years. With the soft brown hair that was just long enough to occasionally fall across his baby-blues, he was easily one of the most attractive guys in the school. He had his own gaggle of girl followers but he was not arrogant.

Archie never made fun of me like the others did but he never made a move to stop them either. That had given me hope that he wasn't really bad. I was still not over him. But what could he have seen in me all those years ago? It must have been a bet or a joke. Why else would he have asked me out only to drop me like that later?

I realised I'd been staring at him too long and he'd caught me looking. He seemed uncomfortable. I quickly looked away. Only to meet the eyes of the final member of the trio of guys.

Finn Nelson. The arrogant prick. He was fit and he knew _it._ I wouldn't really care except that this guy **hated** my guts. While the feeling was mutual, I was not out to make his high school life a living hell. Not like him. It didn't help that everyone worshipped the ground he walked on. That left me to be despised by everyone else, too. People who might normally have not given me more than a second glance would throw in stink eyes or nasty remarks as they passed by.

His eyes narrowed. I knew from his icy glare that he'd noticed the little silent exchange that passed between Archie and me. He never missed an opportunity to find any hint of my feelings for Archie and mock me for them. I knew he was angry. He didn't think I was good enough to lick the sole of Archie's sneakers. I was too far beneath Archie to even fantasize anything. I was too fat. Too ugly. Too stupid. Too disgusting. He didn't even need to say those words. It was all said in the looks that he sent me.

Finn didn't make jokes at my expense. Not the way the others did. No, his game was different. Far more dangerous.

My breath was caught in my throat. My vision narrowed till I could only see his face that was full of hatred. I was afraid. I wanted to run, hide, escape, curl into a ball and go Poof! But I couldn't move. I couldn't do anything but look on helplessly as he strode towards me with purpose. The others hung back to watch on. It was always like that.

And then in the next moment he was here. Right in front of me. I saw his hands move up.

I flinched...


	3. Chapter 3

Rae's POV:

Finn grabbed my arms and pushed me against the lockers. His face was hovering inches away from mine. Any girl would have trembled in pleasure to find herself in a similar position with Finn Nelson. I was trembling too. But it wasn't from any feelings of rapture.

''Hello cupcake. What? Don't you like me touching you?'' He hissed. So close I could feel his scorching breath on my face.

"Let go of me," I managed to speak up, struggling to get away from him. It was of no use. He was much too strong. I hated that I was all mass and no muscle.

He let out a scornful laugh but didn't loosen his grip. ''Oh right, I forgot you only want Archie touching you."

Chop started guffawing like the idiot he was. "Raemundo's got standards!" He spluttered in between laughter.

Finn glanced back at him sharply as if just noticing his and Archie's presence. "You guys go on, and I'll meet up with you later," he told them curtly.

Archie seemed to visibly relax at that and started moving towards the exit, eager to get away. Chop followed him albeit at a much slower pace. It was clear he had been looking forward to stay behind and enjoy the year's first torture session. But nobody ever dared to contradict Finn's authority. And so he went with an easy "See you later, mate."

I didn't like the idea of being left alone with Finn, but there was nothing I could do either. After the boys had left, he turned back to mock me. "Just because Archie doesn't say anything to you, doesn't mean he likes you. He doesn't want you."

"Maybe that's your fault," I mumbled quietly to myself.

I knew he'd heard me as his fingers tightened over my arms, forcing me to wince and meet his heated gaze. His eyes searched mine for a brief moment. Then hardened. "As if anyone would ever want to touch you willingly," he sneered softly.

The old defiant, stronger Rae would have retorted immediately with an _"Except you",_ seeing that he was still gripping me- hard enough to leave bruises later. The old Rae would have laughed at him for being so ridiculous. But I was not her. I knew from experience the repercussions would be bad for me. As long as I didn't snap back or retaliate, it would be over soon without much to worry about. Hopefully.

Still, I couldn't control my features from contorting. I struggled to keep myself numb, unfeeling- his words were like a forceful blow to my chest. It wasn't even particularly original or anything I hadn't heard before from him before. But it was the way he said them with an impassive face and a tone that was deceptively gentle. It hurt me more than any of the petty name-calling or humiliation.

"What's the point of telling me that? It's not like I'm likely to forget it anytime soon," I let out a soft, bitter laugh, looking down at myself.

Suddenly he let go and backed away. I looked up to find he was staring hard at me. "He has never wanted you. Got it?" The arrogant prick wouldn't stop.

"What do you want from me, Finn? Haven't you done enough already? I surrender. I surrendered long ago. Please, just let me go." I was surprised myself as the words came tumbling out of my mouth, but I was suddenly so weary. I just wanted it all to end.

He remained silent. Taking this as an opportunity to leave, I turned to get away from him when he grabbed my hand and spun me around so fast that I ended up colliding hard into his chest.

One of his arms was around me, holding me in place. I was too shocked to move anyway. There was a brief moment when his face lacked all malice. He looked almost...vulnerable. But then as I recoiled instinctively from his close proximity to me, the moment passed. He looked mad again.

Next thing I knew I was down on the floor and he was gone.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Thank you for the encouraging reviews! I'm so delighted! I realize the writing isn't all that great- and this is my first time...but I love MMFD and I think it'll be a fun experience. All feedback is really appreciated. :)

Archie's POV:

If there was one thing I was certain of, it was that my best friend was obsessed with one Rachel Earl. And not in a good way. I don't know how things happened to get so messed up but I knew something had to be done. And soon. It was my last year. And my last chance. To fix everything. If they could still be fixed, that is...

I don't know if there was this one exact, defining moment when things got out of hand. Maybe it was the very arrival of Rae into our lives that set everything in motion. For as far back as I could remember, Finn and Rae had never got along.

No, that isn't right. It hadn't been so bad at the very start. Sure, Finn had been his usual grumpy sod when we first met Rae. That was usual Finn. I like to think Rae had been gradually winning over him too- just like she did with the rest of us. The changes were subtle- but if you knew Finn, you could tell he was thawing. She had actually impressed him. He seemed to like talking to her. And he didn't like talking to _anybody_.

What went wrong then? Okay, so maybe I needed to stop pretending I'm as clueless as everyone else. I knew exactly when things started going downhill and because of whom.

Knowing what I knew about Finn, I never should have made a move on Rae. If only I'd given it more thought, if only I hadn't been so desperate and selfish...I'm ashamed to admit my reasons for it were less than honorable.

Finn called me on it. He could tell I wasn't serious about Rae- and he seemed strangely protective of her. He tried to get me to tell him why I was doing what I was doing, but I'd been too fearful to reveal my secret. Heck, I couldn't even bring myself to accept it fully then. I lied. I evaded. I stubbornly maintained my stance. Even when he was on the verge of admitting something to me- he didn't need to, however. I'd never seen Finn give so much thought to a girl. To anyone, in fact. I knew _he_ was serious about her though she was blissfully oblivious to his feelings.

I can't tell why I did what I did. Why I didn't just draw back and let Finn take the girl when they would have been so right for each other. There was some obstinacy. Some resentment. I couldn't let Finn have what he wanted, for once. It didn't help that he was terrible at expressing himself and that Rae seemed to have a huge crush on me. I needed her then. I didn't think there could have been another girl I could have dated who I'd have been so comfortable with...I don't know if Finn was ever fully convinced, but I didn't end up in the hospital with a mangled face and a broken body. We were still best friends.

Things grew tense in the gang, however. Finn grew crabbier- especially around Rae. Rae gave back as good as she got. They were both defensive. One thing led to another. Chloe helped make matters worse- she thinks nobody knows all she did, oh but she wasn't as sneaky as she likes to think. She was the catalyst that worsened things between Finn and Rae. They were bitter enemies before they even had a chance to be real friends. And it didn't turn out well for anyone. Worst of all, for Rae. It didn't take long for Chloe and the other girls to snub Rae and ostracize her- I secretly suspected Chloe had been jealous of her childhood friend all along and it brought her great pleasure to get Rae out of the way so she could soak in all the attention herself. Soon, other lackeys joined in- till Rae was mercilessly bullied and tormented.

I have no right to sound superior, however- even now I feel my gut twist painfully with guilt and remorse. I abandoned her. After all she did for me. It hurts to admit it but it's the harsh truth- I used her and dumped her as I found convenient. When had I become one of those guys? And even now I didn't have the guts to stop Finn or the others from harassing her. Finn. Finn had changed too. We weren't as close as before. Though it went unspoken- he was even more closed off from everyone than before. And he'd grown cold, callous, perhaps even cruel... _An Ice Prince._

It seems so far-fetched and ridiculous now to think about- but everything changed completely. Friendships soured or ended. Admiration turned to loathing. Love turned to hate. And one incredible, brilliant, and _innocent_ girl had been torn down, broken, destroyed...

All because I was a despicable, candy-ass coward who (still) couldn't admit that he wasn't into girls.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Thank you all for the kind reviews! Your support keeps me going! :) When I first started, I didn't think anyone would even read beyond the first chapter... :o**

 **As for a Finn POV, yes...there might be one in the future! :D**

 **Rae's POV:**

If I'd known before that all it would take was a 'Please, let me go' to turn my fate around in high-school, maybe I would have waved the white flag sooner and declared myself thoroughly defeated. Well, fate hadn't exactly turned around per se- I wasn't suddenly taken from rags to riches- but something strange had occurred.

Where before I'd found myself an easy target of people's stares, taunts, and pranks, now I was suddenly invisible. Well, not exactly invisible- but people who'd previously have not let a chance to harass me pass them by, avoided my eyes and steered clear of my path. I could still feel the stares and whispers behind my back- but nobody approached me or called out names. Maybe things were going to be different this year, after all. Maybe they'd grown bored of teasing me for so long. Even Chloe and the gang seemed to have backed off. It didn't completely ease my anxieties but it was easier to get through the school hours.

A few times I'd caught Finn's gaze from afar. Not wanting to provoke or trigger any undesirable response when things seemed to be going so well, I was always quick to look away. He had behaved so strangely that time in the hallway. For some reason, it had really been disconcerting and I didn't want to dwell on it. My pace too would quicken automatically whenever he was near but I was careful not to make it look like I was a prey trying to get away. Much to my surprise and relief however, he never once called me out. I was grateful but it was so strange for me that I felt uneasy. At first, my thoughts ran so that I couldn't stop overthinking and worrying. Were they all planning something big? Hoping to catch me off my guard? It must be something really really horrible, if so. Oh my, what was I going to do? I was constantly on edge with fearful anticipation.

But days passed by without anything suspicious occurring, and I tried telling myself that I had just been feeling paranoid. I'd grown to always fear the worst. It was just my mind messing with me. The world didn't revolve around me, I scoffed at myself. They'd all had moved on from petty bullying since it was senior year. That would explain it. Everyone had to focus on their futures and all. Sometimes, I'd manage to convince myself with such rationalizations - only to start thinking anew later. Recalling all the awful torment of the past years, it was difficult for my mind to accept things could get better like this.

As I sat by myself on an empty table outside, with an open book in front of me that I hadn't been reading, I realized I'd been unconsciously chewing on my lips again in anxiety. This had to stop before I made my big mouth even bigger with swollen lips. _Just what I need_ , I was mentally scolding myself when a shadow fell across the table and I looked up in surprise.

 _Finn._

Before I had time to react, he had grabbed my hand and pulled me up from the table so that we stood facing each other. I was so surprised I could only look on at him mute and wide-eyed.

''I- I...'', he began and stopped just as suddenly. He was looking at me with a strange, pained expression. I was getting freaked out when again, without warning, he grabbed me and moved closer. He seemed to hesitate for a second, and I felt my body tense. Then before I knew what was happening, his head bent forward and his lips descended upon mine.

My mind went blank with shock.

I made a strangled sound of surprise as his lips began to move insistently against mine. With one hand he held the back of my head, while his other wrapped around the small of my back, pulling me closer against him. My knees grew weak. A soft moan escaped me as I felt the tip of his tongue flick across my bottom lip, begging entrance- all rational thought flew out of my head. And then to my utter amazement, my lips parted and soon I was kissing him back with just as much intensity. Sensations- new, unfamiliar, amazing ...enveloped me. Through the haze of heightened senses, I dimly perceived my arms, which had previously been hanging limp by my side, clutching the front of his leather jacket...about to pull him closer?

That's when I heard the first sounds of wolf-calls and cheering and I froze. With that my senses quickly returned to me. I shoved Finn away from myself. He looked surprised, and then there was a slight smile on his face. I tore my gaze away from him and turned to see the crowds of people who'd gathered to watch the show- all of them looking at us. I saw Chloe standing near one of the entrances, and she caught my gaze. She saw the stricken look on my face, smiled and nodded slightly. There was nothing pleasant about it. Realization dawned upon me in horror- and she knew. Her gloating face said it all.

All of a sudden, my mind was whirling with the scores of stares, whispers, and jeering grins directed at myself. The world began to close in on me. I staggered back, and almost lost my balance, before I grabbed the edge of the table to steady myself.

''Rae..!'' I saw Finn's arm reach out as if to grasp hold of me again, and I recoiled from it. I didn't look up at his face. I couldn't. Suddenly it all made sense. This was the ultimate show...they got me...

''No!'' I cried out weakly. _NO. NO. NO. NO. NO!_ I was screaming inwardly. How could I have let this happen? How could I have been so bloody stupid?

A sharp pain shot out like lightning through my chest. I saw hostile, jeering faces. I heard their hate filled voices in my head. Several different voices over several different times. Flashback upon flashback.

 _''Look at that thing, who would go out with it?'' They made sickened faces._

 _''There's only one explanation boys, she must have had a magic fanny.'' Laughter ensued._

 _''Ew, get out of my way, fat bitch!''_

And then one voice drowned out all the others. Finn's _. ''Desperate slut...'' ''He has never wanted you''... ''As if anyone would ever want to touch you willingly...''_

A funny keeling sound escaped my throat. My vision blurred and white noise filled my ears. I let out a harsh, scornful laugh. I didn't know who it was directed at- maybe myself. I couldn't comprehend anything through the pain. There was only one thing to do.

I turned around and ran.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Thank you for continuing to review and support! I'm afraid though that I'm going to mess up the story somehow...oh well, here's another chapter. All kinds of feedback are most appreciated. :]**

 _Finn's POV:_

From the moment Rae Earl came barreling into my life, I lost all control over what I thought or felt. She drove me mad with her annoying in-your-face attitude, her conceited claim to superior knowledge of music- her loud and obnoxious voice grated on my ears...she drove me mad how she just hurled into our lives like a hurricane and became the center of everyone's interest- especially mine... with the way her raven hair caught the light in a room and made it difficult for me to focus... how she gazed at Archie with those big, round eyes of her when she thought nobody was watching and how she always looked in my direction with a flicker of annoyance plain in those very same eyes... oh, she drove me mad for so many reasons, but most of all because- I couldn't stop myself from being consumed with the thoughts of her.

I don't know when first the realization started creeping up on me. But I couldn't deny it that I wanted those large, expressive eyes to be gazing at me like that, not Archie. I wanted to be the one who was the reason for those little smiles on her face- the one she flirted with...

Yeah, I was bit of a dick towards her when we first met, but that's because I didn't know her that well. Once Rae and I had gotten past the awkward beginning and I'd apologized for acting weird, I found myself talking to her- more so than I'd ever talked with anyone else before. She was the first girl who made me feel this way. When Archie told me he was thinking of asking her out for fun, I didn't want him to lead her on like that when we both knew he didn't really care for her like that. But I couldn't give him any good reason to not do so as I couldn't bring myself to tell him how I felt for her. But- couldn't he see? He was my best mate, for fuck's sake.

Things were meant to be far from perfect, though. Rae would act weird around me- sometimes giving me dirty looks when she thought I wasn't looking, before heading off with Chloe to the girls' room or whatever. I tried to get Chloe to help me make sense of it- and then one day, looking both reluctant and guilty, she shoved a crumpled piece of paper in my open palm, closing my fingers around it. Chloe began talking rapidly- and each word was like a punch to my gut. I opened up the page- it was from Rae's diary. Filled with scathing things about me and the feelings she suspected I had for her...

Archie and Rae started going out soon after. There was a storm raging inside of me. When she'd smile or try to talk to me- I'd rebuff her advances- my first instincts had been right. I had been right to be wary of her fake pretentious self. That's where it all began. The verbal battles and heated exchanges and then one day she slapped me hard across the face. There was some part of me way deep down that knew I'd deserved it...but I wasn't thinking rationally- it only fueled my rage.

When it came to Rae, I could not hold back from feeling extremes. Once I'd thought I'd loved her. Now I hated her- and I couldn't let her forget it. Things soured between us till they got really bad. Archie and her had broken up by that time, as well. By then I'd decided she'd know- that she was only _mine_ \- to love or to hate. Because I couldn't let her go- she'd become like a need, a drug- and my addiction just grew worse with time. I tormented her, but also myself- when the hurt would appear in her eyes, something would claw at my insides painfully. But she never went down without a fight- and I couldn't stop myself because that was the only time she'd give me her full and undivided attention. And that thrilled me in a sick, demented way. I forgot her diary- her mocking...everything...but I was mad at her for not noticing how I needed her...for not having seen I was the one who loved her, and instead she'd picked that fickle Archie- even though he was my mate, he'd been a prick-

With the thought of senior year nearing, a sort of panicky feeling set in- time was running out... I just wanted to hold her in my arms. Kiss her. Make her mine. But I couldn't...I hated the conflicting emotions and the sense of helplessness that pervaded my being.

When I finally saw her in the empty hallway the first day of school, I realized I'd been slowly driving myself insane with yearning for her all summer. But then I noticed her eyes- those damned beautiful large, expressive eyes of hers- filled with longing as she was surely looking at fucking Archie again. The familiar pangs of jealousy and irrational anger spread through my gut. And before I could think, I had her pinned against her locker. I didn't know what came over me- I never did. I knew the words hurt her but I couldn't stop myself. I enjoyed the pain- and how her words and looks brought on that sharp aching in my chest.

She must have thought me ridiculous as I told her nobody would want to touch her when my actions stood in stark contrast to my lousy words. I expected her to laugh in my face, or retort back with something but she took me aback completely with her crushed, defeated manner. I couldn't stop staring into those beautiful eyes- they looked so _broken_. I pushed myself away from her.

Goddammit, she wasn't supposed to look like that. I wanted to grab her and shake her- get a rise out of her. I pulled her back as she tried to move past me, and then she was there in my arms. For a brief moment- I felt like she could read everything in my eyes. But then she recoiled from my touch- and I was suddenly mad. At her? At myself? I shoved her away from me and she fell down. But I turned around and left without another glance behind- afraid that another moment of touching her or being near her would set me ablaze.

I had to keep my distance. I couldn't bring myself to get closer even as I craved her looks, her touch. One of the guys said about doing something nasty about her and I snapped. I would have beaten him into a bloody mess had there not been someone to intervene. Things had gone overboard. As possessive I'd always felt about her, I'd been too self-absorbed to notice before how others had been treating her- hoping to gain favour with me, or just because those shitheads thought it made them look cool. I made sure everybody knew to stay away from her. She was _mine_ alone to torment.

As the days dragged by, I found myself battling with inner turmoil. I couldn't get away from the sight of her beaten look. Chloe caught me several times and tried to question what was wrong with me, to which I had only noncommittal responses. I forced myself to stay away from Rae- not knowing why. But it got harder to do with each passing day...and then came the opportune moment. She was sitting by herself on a table in the school yard- seemingly lost in thoughts.

I found my feet carrying me towards her in a purposeful stride- they seemed to have a life of their own. She looked beautiful sitting there with her raven hair falling loosely around her and her big soft eyes staring off into the distance. As I got closer, my eyes drew to her full lips- she was biting her lower lip innocently, unaware of how it affected me. I couldn't tear my gaze away from it.

Before I knew it, I'd pulled her up from the table and she was standing there in front of me- waiting.

''I- I...'', I began but I had no idea what I wanted to say. _I...I'm not good with words_? Maybe there was nothing I had to say. Maybe there was just too much. Suddenly, I knew what to do. I wanted to give in. Do what I had wanted to for a very long time now- leaving aside all that was messed up between us. I hesitated only a moment before covering her lips with mine. I was bereft of everything except the wild sensations coursing through my body. I forgot where we were...who we were to each other...I forgot everything except that I wanted her and needed her with every fibre of my being. Then she was kissing me back and my whole being exploded with a warmth and euphoria beginning from inside my chest and extending to the very tips of my fingers.

It was over too soon as she pushed away from me but I was too far gone to stop the smile that was spreading across my face- when I saw the stricken look on her face.

''Rae...!'' I reached an arm out instinctively to steady her as she stumbled back. I couldn't make sense of her pained reaction. She paled and her eyes were darting around madly. I followed her gaze. It took me a while to realize... _Oh, Fuck._

''Rae! Listen, it's not what it looks like...Rae! Rae!'', I tried to tell her. To clarify things. But it was like she couldn't even hear me or see me.

 _Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck._

I wanted to shoot down every single person gathered around there. She made a strangled sound of pain. All I knew was that I wanted to take her in my arms and comfort her. Some laughter and cat-calls sounded again... When I met the gazes of the culprits, they quickly sobered and looked down- shuffling away from there. Slowly, the crowd began to disperse.

I turned to Rae so I could fix the misunderstanding- but she was gone.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Oh my! Thank you all for the lovely reviews! They totally made my day. Sorry for the delay in uploading- things have suddenly turned busier- so I'm not sure I'll be able to upload daily- but I'll try not to be slack with it. Your support means a lot! Well, here's the next chappie. I'll be waiting to know what you think of it :] Thank you for reading and I hope you guys enjoy it.**

 _Rae's POV:_

It'd been three days since the incident, and since then I hadn't left my room. Mum had been strangely understanding- once she'd taken a look at my face as I stumbled in that day, she'd closed off her mouth and hadn't pestered me much with tactless questions. Much.

I alternated between crying and hurting and sleeping away the rest of the time. Then, I decided to go back to the hospital. I needed Tix- she was the only real friend I had.

We sat in the girl's toilet, our regular hangout, and I poured my heart out to her.

''Tix, maybe I'm just not meant for the outside world…I've decided I'm going to come back here…'' I cried as I finished telling her everything.

Tix went took out the irises from the vase on the sink and brought them to me- only to splash me with the water and start hitting away madly at me with the bunch.

''Stop it! Stop! What's wrong with you?'' I shouted.

''What's wrong with _you_?'' she screamed. ''You've been given a chance to start over, Rae. And you don't want it. Do you know how lucky you are? I've been trying to be more like you for months- if, if there's no hope for you, what hope's there for me? ''

''But you know everything that's happened…I hate it there…I can't….,'' I protested weakly.

''You hate it there because you hate yourself, Rae. You'll hate it everywhere as long as you do that. It's not the end of the world. You're so much stronger than that, Rae. You put on your Rae armor and charge at it- no matter how bad things get. Promise me, Rae. You won't come back here. Promise me!'' she cried, placing a kiss on my cheek.

I gave her a tentative smile. I missed her so much- but she was right. I wouldn't let them get to me- I couldn't. Not after I'd come so far.

Finn had been persistently calling and kept coming over but I'd been adamant on not seeing him. Mum had tried to plead his case; probably she fell for his good-looking charms. She wouldn't have if she'd known what a scumbag he was in real. Still, she played the good mum and I was happy she didn't push me.

Till that evening when, to my complete outrage, she betrayed me to him. I heard a knock on my door- I frowned, thinking it to be Karim…''Er, come in?''

And there he stood. Finn effing Nelson. ''What the _hell_ are _you_ doing here?'' I bit out, bolting upright and unconsciously fixing my pajamas. This wasn't the time to worry about my less than socially acceptable state. ''Come to take a piss off me, have you?'' I sneered.

''No! Rae, you got it wrong…'' he replied hastily.

'' What do you want then?'' I snapped.

''I just want you to listen, please,'' he spoke softly, hands rising up in an appeasing manner.

''I don't want to listen to anything you have to say!'' I told him, my voice tight with anger.

''Rae, you've been avoiding me these three days- ignoring all my calls and…hmm, please- just hear me out once,'' he pleaded.

''Get out!'' I turned my back to him, clearly suggesting that the conversation was over.

A moment later, he'd crossed the room and whirled me around by the shoulders. ''Just listen _once_ and then I'll leave!' He was still gripping my arms.

I was absolutely trembling with fury and maybe even a little fear. ''Let. Go. Of. Me.''

He let me go but not before backing me to a wall. He stood apart, waiting- daring me to move. ''I'm sorry. I just need a few minutes of your time, that's all,'' he spoke softly.

I only glared at him in stony silence. _What the hell was he playing at?_ A small part of me was completely puzzled and taken aback by this recent development in his attitude, but my rage mostly overrode it and all other sentiments.

He regarded me for a few seconds and then sighed before beginning. ''I know you're probably mad at me. Er, furious. And yeah, you have every right to be. And I know you hate me- with good reason. I just want you to know that this- whatever happened between us that day, it wasn't what you thought…er, Rae…'' I stood there silently soaking in his words as he continued talking in a nervous and agitated manner. I was too stunned to respond.

He told me of his conflicted feelings and how he'd been unable to stop himself…how he didn't want it to end the way it did…how he couldn't stop thinking about me… I didn't believe a word- or I was conditioned not to- but his tone, his expression, everything about him spoke of sincerity. He was in earnest!

Taking my silence as a good sign, he plowed on in a soft, low voice, ''It's hard for me to say all this- but here I am. I realize I went overboard- we always fought but I was the one who took it too far. I was misguided. I was selfish and cruel. I'm so sorry, Rae. It took me all this time to realize that I never meant for you to really hurt. To realize that I…care about ya, Rae. Please forgive me. I can see it that I've really hurt you. I'm so sorry, Rae, just….'' He trailed off, looking at me expectantly.

I finally broke my silence. ''You truly and honestly expect me to believe that?'' My voice was deadly quiet. I let out a vicious laugh. I was boiling with anger.

He was silent before replying with a determined, ''Yeah…I do.''

My hand flew up and smacked him hard right across his face.

I noticed his jaw clench and I moved back slightly in fear. But he only looked up and said, ''I deserved that. But Rae, there's nobody watching here. You know it- you know that I'm not lying. Please believe me. Give me a chance to prove myself- I'll fix everything, Rae.''

''Finn, you know something? It doesn't matter whether you meant for it to happen or not. After everything you've done- you just come charging out of nowhere and decided to what….kiss me? Sweep me off my feet? If you didn't know what would have happened out there – you should have! You should have known how everyone would have stared at us- at me- laughing at how the high and mighty prince condescended to kiss the ugly fat toad?'' I was trembling all over- and close to hysteria.

''Rae- that's not…you're not…! What are you on about?'' he cried out. Then his voice softened and he said in a defeated manner, '' I know I was wrong. I'm sorry, Rae. I don't expect you to forgive me.''

The fight suddenly went out of me. I let out a shuddered breath. ''You know what, Finn? I…''My voice was weary as I finished, ''I forgive you.''

Pure unadulterated relief was written all over his face. His tensed muscles visibly relaxed. It was clear he had not expected me to say that.

''Rae, I…I promise you won't regret it.'' He stepped closer, his arms going around me. His face was filled with joy.

''What are you doing?'' I backed away from his arms.

His brows furrowed in confusion. ''I thought-''

''Don't touch me. I forgive you. And I believe you meant what you said. I'm sorry but that doesn't mean I can forget everything, Finn.''

''I'll do anything. Tell me what to do, Rae. Just give me a chance…I'll…'' he sounded desperate.

''I love you, Rae.''

He stunned me with the words before I started feeling anger coursing through my veins again. _How dare he?_ But I controlled myself this time. _Put on that Rae armor. Put on that Rae armor._ _Put on that Rae armor._ I chanted the mantra and felt it imbue in me a coldness- an icy strength.

''I don't feel that way…'' I forced out before he interjected me.

''You kissed me back, Rae. You kissed me back! I know you must feel something for me too. Don't deny it, Rae. I felt your lips move against mine, I heard your moans. You were just as affected,'' his words came rushing out fervently, urgent yet hopeful.

I gathered all my courage and stepped closer, placing a hand on his arm. He stopped talking. My heart was beating wildly against my ribcage and I was shaking a little but before I could lose my guts, I stepped up without further thought - and kissed him.

His arms went around me, pulling me in closer as he kissed me back with equal passion. And then just as suddenly I broke it off. I placed a hand on his chest, stopping him as I saw him move his lips closer again. We were both out of breath.

''This was to show you how much our kiss that day meant to me. Now please get out of my room.'' I said it all in a calm, passionless voice.

He looked like I had slapped him again. Only worse. There was unquestionable hurt in his eyes. He whirled around and moved towards the door, then stopped there with his back to me- as if he were going to say something. But the loaded moment passed and he quickly turned the doorknob and was gone before I could say anything else.

Where had all that come from? I had shocked even myself. But I felt a strange sort of satisfaction. Like we just settled some long held score. _Did you really believe me to be the desperate slut who would jump at this chance to be with someone, Finn? Did you really think all those years of hurt and pain could be resolved with a single kiss?_

All of a sudden, I dropped down on my bed. It felt like it had taken every ounce of my energy to get through this encounter. I was exhausted to the bone.

I didn't know how things would go from here on. But I knew I had humiliated Finn in the worst way possible. There was a small part of me that was horrified- I was not the callous one to hurt people like that. Whatever he had done to me, this was low. I could've handled it differently except that I'd wanted him to feel the way I had all this time. I'd wanted him to get a taste of his own medicine. To be honest, I hadn't even been thinking- some strange impulse had guided me through all of it.

But now that it was over, I was left with a prickling sensation of guilt. _Stop beating yourself over it, Rae. He has done worse to you over the years. Hasn't he?_ Somehow I was having a hard time convincing myself that I was justified in doing what I did.

Whatever. All that mattered was that this was over. We would go our separate different ways from now on that there was nothing more to be said or understood. I was finally rid of Finn Nelson. It was a big cause for celebration. I should rejoice. I had finally stood up to him and beaten him at his own game.

I wondered why the fact didn't make me feel as empowered and ecstatic as I'd expected it to.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Thank you to everyone who took out precious time to write me a review. I really appreciate it! Your reviews are a huge motivation to finish each chapter :D Also, I'd love to get constructive criticism/suggestions or anything you may have in mind regarding the story. xx

A shout-out to _Rinn-_ your words look perfectly formulated to me! :] By the way, English isn't my first language, either- and I think it kind of shows in my writing.

Thank you all again for every bit of support! It's more than I could hope for.

P.S. Sorry this chapter is so short. :o

* * *

 _Finn's POV:_

 _Stupid. Foolish. Pathetic._

She'd made me look like all of the above.

Her words were a painful echo in my mind- repeating themselves over and over again- till they sent my mind whirling and I could hardly make sense of anything apart from feeling their sharp stab each time.

An odd constriction was building up inside my chest- something was coiling around it, slowly tightening further and further- till it got painful to breathe.

Her words had been cutting but for her to go and kiss me like _that_ and then tell me she didn't mean it- she ripped out my heart and then for good measure, stomped on it, too. Hurt and pain quickly gave way to anger as I felt the heat of shame spread throughout my body.

 _What the fuck did she think of herself_? But the anger didn't take long to redirect itself back to my own pathetic self.

 _You bloody moron- telling her you love her after everything. What did you expect?_

I was no stranger to pain when it came to Rae, but never before had the rejection been so bare and absolute. Never before had it been so brutal.

 _It fucking_ _hurt_.

I should've known better, but yet again I'd acted on confounded impulse. It was always like that around her- and this time it was my ultimate downfall.

How could she do this to me? Did she really hate me all that much? How could I have not seen it? It was my own fucking fault- all of it. I wish I'd never laid eyes on her. Never been so bloody stupid.

But I couldn't let myself forget now- forget my stupidity- believing that she'd just up and fall into my arms and everything would be perfect.

Another wave of sudden and excruciating pain shot through my chest cavity.

I stumbled along the muddy road. I couldn't see where I was heading, but it didn't really matter now. As long as I just kept moving. Yeah, I just had to keep moving.

 _'Keep moving, Finn. Keep moving. Keep moving. Keep moving..._ ', I kept the words going steady inside of my mind in rhythm with my feet.

 _You can do it, Finnley. If you just keep moving, then it won't all come crashing down. Maybe the pain will even go away eventually...ahhh, I..._

''Finn! Finn! Mate! Stop, will ya?'' a familiar voice called out breathlessly from behind.

I groaned, but kept moving- ignoring it.

''Finn! Stop for fuck's sake!'' He had reached me and now pulled me forcefully to a stop.

''Not right now, Archie. Just leave me the fuck alone.'' I growled, jerking my arm away from him.

''Trust me. You want to hear this,'' he said, letting go and adjusting his glasses. He was looking at me with a worried frown on his face. I didn't like it. I didn't want to see him looking at me right now- especially with that look on his face. I didn't want to see him or talk to him at all. In fact, he was one of the last persons I wanted to be near at the moment.

Fucking perfect Archie. Damn him. I could feel the anger struggling to surface. I clenched my fists in an attempt to control myself- I didn't want to _really_ break Archie's annoying bespectacled face. He was still my childhood mate, despite everything...

''Finn, it's about Rae. Just hear me out, once, alright? Please. I've been running after you like mad- what, could you not hear me or something? You can go on ignoring me later on if you wish to- but you need to come with me right now. I'm certain you'd want to know everything before you decide to give up and go drown your sorrows in the pub or whatever.''

I stilled. He'd had me at 'Rae'.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Thank you all for the reviews and the support. :3**

* * *

 _Archie's POV:_

Finn sat across from me looking bewildered as I finished telling him what I knew.

''Chloe?!'' he asked in disbelief. ''Why would Chloe wanna do somethin' like that?''

 _Er, because she's a jealous, conniving bitch?_ But I didn't say it out loud- that was just my snarky inner voice talking. Chloe was still a good friend. People did weird stuff when it came to jealousy and all. Plus, she'd only been in love with Finn since like forever. While it didn't justify her actions, I could see where she came from.

Finn let out another string of curses. He'd probably cursed more in the last hour since I caught up to him than all his school years put together. Well, almost. I gave some time for it all to sink in before answering him.

''You know that she has always _liked_ you, right? She was probably jealous of Rae...I mean even a blind person could tell you were all over the new girl...everyone could see it. Well everyone, except for you and Rae'', I told him with a smirk, only to see him shuffle uncomfortably and then glare at me.

''Is that why you went after her?'' he retorted calmly.

 _Ouch. I walked right into that one..._

''Well, er- look I was uhm...,I'm sorry- I just want you to know I'm terribly sorry'' I stuttered helplessly, but he waved me away with his hands.

''I get it Arch, let's just forget that, alright? Although, if you ever hurt Rae like that again- I'll forget we're mates...'' he said in a half-threatening, half- resigned tone and I sank in relief. It also emboldened me. Hell, it was about time I told _Finn._ He deserved to know.

''Finn- there's something else...,'' I began but I didn't know what to say after that. I gathered my wavering courage. ''I- I am...it wasn't...I...well'' I gulped.

''I know you're gay, Arch, if that's what you're trying to tell me.''

Okay, wow. Way to stun me into speechlessness. ''You...knew?''

''Honestly Archie, we're best friends- think I've sort of always known it,'' he said, smiling slightly- which quickly turned to a frown. ''It didn't stop me from feeling jealous of you though, er, when it came to ...Rae...,'' he bit out a short laugh, shaking his head.

He leaned over to give me a supportive thump on the back. ''You needn't be ashamed of it, Archie. It's who you are.''

''It's not easy to come out, Finn. You know how everyone will...''

''Fuck everyone. Since when did they matter?''

''Well...yeah, yeah you're right,'' I agreed with him but not with much conviction. Still, I was close to ecstatic with Finn's acceptance. _My best mate was cool with it._ My heart was smiling- but it also redoubled with guilt.

''Forget me for now- what are you going to do about Rae? What's happened? You didn't look too good...in fact, you still don't,'' I observed.

Finn rubbed his forehead as if to get rid of a migraine. ''I don't know, Archie. I feel worse- if that's possible. It's all too much to take in. And...she won't even see me now. I've been a right arse to her all this time! I fucking deserve this,'' he spoke with utter misery and dejection visible in his voice.

''Hmm.'' We spoke there in silence for a few minutes- thinking it over. Finn ordered another beer. We were at the pub. I didn't stop him though it was his fourth one. He probably needed it. But it'd be his last one- I resolved silently.

''I- I have to make her see it. How do you get over someone, Archie? I can't stop thinking about her. I can't get over her. But she won't forgive me anymore. She won't have anythin' to do with me. What should I do?'' he asked suddenly in desperation.

''You forget her...'' I pronounced and he sent me a look to say when-hell-freezes-over before I added, ''...for a while.''

''What do you mean forget her for a while? I can't forget her for a moment! I think we established that's the main fucking problem,'' he rejoined in a frustrated manner.

''Don't forget her like that but if you care for her, you need to stay away. Give her some time, Finn.'' I explained.

''How can I do that? I _love_ her. I can't stay away! Don't you see?'' He was stubborn as a mule.

''All the more reason to stay away from her, Finn. If you love her, you can't be selfish...or else- you don't really love her, mate. Be honest with yourself. I'd rather call it an unhealthy obsession- not love...,'' I contended.

His fingers clenched into a fist at that and he glared at me. ''Stop it.''

I sighed. ''You know I'm right, mate. You do realize how you've treated her all this time, don't you? You _bullied_ her right along with the rest of them! No wonder she hates your gut- sorry- but it has to be said. Look- I want to help you, you gotta trust me on this. I'm with you. But you can't _force_ her or bully her into liking you or forgiving you. There's three years of fuck-ups to fix here. It won't be easy. And- uhm, I think you need to sort yourself out first, too. Don't look at me like that. It's in everyone's best interests. Also, it's best she got the truth from a different source than you.'' I reasoned.

He didn't say anything so I continued- switching tracks with, ''Fine. Do what you want. You threaten me and everyone else but the one person you need to protect Rae from is yourself! Hell, go on with your sick, twisted ways...go on hurting her...but I'm not gonna stand by passively and watch your games anymore.''

His jaw tensed up but he looked at me in a pained, resigned manner. ''Archie, just shut the fuck up, will ya? Aright? I...I don't wanna hurt her. Not any more...''


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: Sorry for the delay...things have been a bit rough around here. Thank you so much for the reviews! They mean a lot to me. xx

* * *

 _ **Rae's POV:**_

I'd been nervous about returning to school, but also resolute that I would. Standing up to Finn had brought me a new found courage. At least- a tiny bit.

Things were going well. As well as could be expected. I actually felt like I was invisible for good this time. Nobody really bothered about me- and I was more than grateful for it. There was no sign of Finn either. Or maybe I just didn't look around to check if he was there even in the few classes we shared together. You couldn't blame me for not being so keen on spotting him after what happened. It was good to be like this. Good to be invisible. Unseen. Insignificant.

Except sometimes there would be that prickling sensation at the back of my neck…but I wasn't going to dwell on _that_. My eyes would remain stubbornly fixed on the book in front of me or the teacher ahead.

I didn't know then still that I had traded my old problems with a set of whole new ones. It all started with the discovery of a foreign object in my designated property.

After English class it was, as I opened my locker, that I spotted a conspicuous little box inside covered with lilac gift wrapping paper inside, placed on top of my textbooks. I glanced at it, wary and apprehensive. _Another prank? Was there to be some foul insects inside? Something nasty? Was it a threat of some sort? But more importantly- who'd gained access into my locker?_ That was disturbing, to say the least.

I slammed the locker shut quickly and left- fully intending to not acknowledge the box's presence. Throughout the day it was hard to concentrate as my thoughts flew back to the little box waiting inside the locker for me. Eventually curiosity won out over fear and I went back to retrieve it.

I knew better than to open it at school though. While taking it out, I was careful to glance around me- making sure nobody was watching. I thought maybe I'd catch the perpetrator's eyes, but there was no such luck. Disappointed or relieved by my lack of success, it was hard to tell, I quickly put it inside my backpack and left.

But at home I avoided my backpack like the plague till night. I'd kept myself occupied and exercised an impressive amount of self-restraint. I don't know why. It was still scary to think of what could be inside it. There was no way in seven hells that this was a gift from a secret admirer. I had to laugh at the ridiculousness of that notion. Nope. Then what could it be? Hmm.

Finally that night, I pulled the bag to myself and sat down on the edge of my bed. Carefully, I took out the box and studied it. It was very light. I'd been too nervous to notice that at school. When I shook it- there wasn't much of a sound. Was this just some empty box? Why would someone send me an empty box?

Hands shaking, I began to work on removing the paper. Underneath the wrapping emerged a light brown cardboard box. Slowly, carefully, I moved the lid.

There was nothing inside except for a folded piece of colored paper.

My heart was beating fast now. I opened the note.

 ** _Me and you - what's going on?_**  
 ** _All we seem to know is how to show_**  
 ** _The feelings that are wrong._**

That was all. _What the hell?_

My breath caught. I instantly knew who the note was from. As crazy as it seemed, there was nobody else who would have sent me Oasis lyrics.

But if Finn Nelson thought I was going to play his stupid games- he had another thing coming.

The next day at school I gathered all my courage and stepped into a place I hadn't been to in years.

The cafeteria.

For a moment it was all very scary. Everything seemed to freeze. I could feel all eyes turn on me. I was frozen myself- and about to turn back and scurry off far away. Was it worth it? Losing all the perks of invisibility for? I was having second thoughts about what I'd thought of doing.

But then I spotted him. He was sitting on the gang's usual table. I saw Archie and the others with him. Finn was looking right at me. He looked serious. I noticed that he saw the purple box in my hands. I'd put it all back- wrapping and box. His gaze moved back to me. I took a deep breath and pulled my eyes from his. There was no strange fluttery sensation in my stomach. Okay, maybe some- from the nerves of stepping into the dreaded place.

The noises that had seemed to stop for a second there as I'd entered had begun again. It seemed like I was forgotten- or not worth giving notice to. Whew.

I made my way to an empty table and sat down. I had my lunch with me but I didn't have that much of courage now to start eating in front of everyone there. Forced myself to take a sip of a drink though and made a show of moving around bits of my food on the table.

The box was placed conspicuously in front of me. To be plain in everyone's view. In _his_ view.

Afterwards I crumpled my lunch bag as if I'd finished its contents and grabbed my tray with the box on it. Holding it tightly, I made my way slowly towards the bin right across from his table- I could feel the eyes on the back of my neck but I daren't look back. Slowly, making sure that Finn could see what I was doing, I dumped everything along with the box in the trash can. I just knew he would have looked. Don't ask me how. It was hard to ignore the intensity of his stares when it set off all of one's spidey senses tingling.

I allowed myself a small triumphant smile secretly. It was just a stupid box and note anyway. _What the hell was he playing at? Why even bother to wrap up a box and leave a dumb note inside? Who did that? And what was it supposed to mean, anyway? Prick._ Well, let that show to him what I thought of his stupid idea.

Yet the lyrics kept running through my head. Well- it was my favorite band so that wasn't anything unusual. Music was my life. Good music, anyway. And the reason the song was stuck in my head had nothing to do with Finn.

Not one bit. Nuh-uh..


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: To all the reviewers: thank you for your support and encouragement! I lost all my saved work regarding this story due to an accident and it had completely disheartened me. Plus, things have been kind of rough around here. It's taken me time to recover from all that. Your reviews have been a great motivation. So thank you! Sorry for the massive delay. And sorry there's not much in this chapter. I'm trying to get back on track.

 _ **Archie's POV:**_

I was proud of myself. I had accomplished the seemingly impossible.

Finn had finally left Rae alone.

If I'd known it'd be this easy, I'd have done something much sooner. Still, better late than never.

He had been under constant surveillance by me. I made sure to observe his every movement to the point of obsession. Without letting him know, of course. And so far I'd spotted nothing suspicious.

Oh, sure, I did catch him sneaking a few glances at her when he thought I wasn't looking. But that had been it. In fact, he didn't even mention her once to me.

As we sat there in the cafeteria, I pondered over all this and looked over at Finn who was laughing along with the others at some crass joke Chop made. There was no sign of the Finn of a few days ago. It'd been so easy to get him to follow through with my plan. Hmm. Too easy…

Before I could shake off that thought, there was a sudden hush that fell over the cafeteria. It was one of those movie moments and all eyes were turned towards the entrance.

I saw Rae and I knew. It HAD been too easy. The way she glared daggers in our direction. _Finn, what did you do now?_ And how the hell had he managed to piss her off with all my constant monitoring of his every move and action? I was bewildered.

As the 'drama' played out, I observed silently. That package. It must have come from Finn. When she'd thrown it in the trash can, there had been an almost imperceptible change in Finn's face. There one second and gone the next. You had to be studying him quite closely to get it like I had. Was that hurt that flickered through his eyes?

Finn was whipped and bad. I shook my head. He wouldn't even let me help him this way. I was irked. And to think I'd thought Finn Nelson would listen to anyone. Of course, he had to go and do his thing regardless of all consequences. But I had to know what exactly he'd done this time. After Rae left, I caught his eye and raised an eyebrow in question. He closed his eyes and let out a groan. We were going to have a talk about this later.

I cornered him after school.

''I thought we agreed to give her some space?'' I reminded him.

''And I have been giving her space, Arch. Did you see me crowding her?'' he retorted.

''Well- no, but what's the deal with that box? And don't you deny it. I know you sent it. Why was she so pissed?'' I could be just as stubborn as him; he wasn't going to get away this easy.

''Dammit Arch- look. That's none of your business, okay? I promised I wouldn't push her or crowd her. I'll give her time. Trust me I will not do anything to hurt her again. But I can't just completely let it go, alright? I- I have to try. Just don't mess with it. I'll do anything to get her to forgive me. But I can't just sit here and do nothing.'' His voice had grown fiercer with each word.

I had no reply. I decided to back off a little. Maybe he was right. Well, he was giving her space and not being his bullying self- so maybe I should trust him some. And it's not like I had any immediate plans of fixing this. I hadn't got Rae to forgive me yet either. Who was I to tell Finn how to go about things? I had to talk to Rae soon. Ask for her forgiveness. For myself.

That was the difference between Finn and me. I always waited for the right opportunities to present themselves while Finn…Finn went out and created those opportunities himself.

For now, all I could do was to trust Finn with this and let it all play out. One thing I was certain about- he wasn't going to deliberately hurt Rae again. But damn him, that was sly.

 _How did he get past me..._

The thought occupied me all the rest of the way home.


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: Thank you for the comments :] I'm doing okay! And a belated happy birthday to 'Obstinate headstrong girl'! :] Sorry to keep you folks waiting. I'm working towards Rae/Finn interaction! xxxx

 _Rae's POV:_

I guess I'd failed to make my point clear to Finn. More notes followed the first one. I would crumple and leave them in sight in case he happened to notice snd got the message. But the notes didn't cease.

Then there was a single rose taped with one on my locker and I all but screamed in frustration. A girl standing nearby "Awwed" to my great shock. I could only stand there like an idiot, staring at her. She gave a tentatve smile and left.

He still hadn't approached me directly and I, being myself, naturally didn't have the guts to actually confront him with anything. But there were times we happened to cross paths and for the briefest of moments- he was near and I was hyper aware of his presence for those few seconds. Sometimes our gazes met but I'd always look away quickly. I don't know why but it sped up my heartbeat like crazy- being near him scared me.

The more I thought about it all the more confused I was. It couldn't be a very elaborate joke...could it? It was all like a dream. Things like this didn't happen to girls like me. And what of all the time he spent tormenting me?! How was I supposed to react? Be flattered or freaked out or play it all cool? I'd forgiven but I couldn't forget. Or more that I couldn't understand. Couldn't trust.

I'd be lying if I said I was completely unaffected by his persistent attempts as weird as they were. At night in bed, forgotten memories of the good days surfaced unbidden.

Finn and I flirting harmlessly, mock-arguing about music, teaming up to tease Chop. And then of Archie and me. I'd never thought of Finn that way.

 _Liar._ An inner voice spoke out. Alright, so there was this short period of time I had crushed on Finn. Who wouldn't have? He was an epic slice. And then something about his broody self had got me smitten. But all that was before Archie. It had never developed into anything further than a crush for Finn because all I had eyes for then was Archie. Sweet, sexy, smart Archie- he sang and played the guitar!...I'd considered myself the luckiest girl alive. But there was no use in thinking back on painful stuff.

I turned over and tried to shut off my thoughts so I could get some sleep. At least, it was the weekend. No Finn. No Archie. No notes. Peace. For two whole days.

No such luck. I was having a late breakfast of Cheerios the next morning and arguing with Mum over my anti-social habits when the door bell rang. It definitely wasn't the milkman. Neither of us were expecting anybody. Forget Kareem who knew nobody else in the town. My heartbeat automatically sped up- was it...? Then I scoffed at myself but made no move to get up.

'Get the door, will ya, Rae?' She gave me an expectant look. I sighed and got up.

Was he coming over to hand the notes personally now? I almost laughed out loud. It couldn't be Finn. He wouldn't come over again after he'd been avoiding direct confrontation for all this time now. He wouldn't... would he? I could feel my hands starting to sweat and my heart thudding in anticipation. I was a bit scared to answer the door, to be honest. There was no way to take a peek through the curtains without the possibility of getting caught.

I braced myself and opened the door to find myself face to face with...

Archie!

 _What in the...?_ I stood there dumbly in shock. He was clearly uncomfortable standing there. I could see his cheeks redden and he cleared his throat before saying 'Hi'.

When I had no response for him, he continued awkwardly.

'Er, Rae, can we talk?'

'Archie?' I'd finally found my voice.

'Please?' He shot a glance at me and then suddenly I was embarrassingly aware of the fact that I was still in my bathrobe. Funny-looking bathrobe.

He was waiting. I felt myself blush but I moved aside to let him in.

We were sitting on the edge of my bed. My bed! Archie! Me! After three effing years...this felt weird. And maybe like a déjà vu moment.

Everything he said. It was just too much. I flopped down so I was half-lying on the bed. We just stayed there in silence for a while. Strangely, it wasn't uncomfortable. I sat back up after a while.

'You know that a part of me wants to break your face in, right?' I said. He tried to protest but then caught my glance.

'You are a coward, Archie.' He had the decency to look ashamed. A part of me felt sorry for him. 'I would have forgiven you, you know? If you'd come clean with me- I'd have understood. I thought we were at least good enough friends before anything? Why didn't you Arch?'

'I chickened out. You don't know what's it like, Rae. I just couldn't bring myself to tell anyone... I'm sorry. I really am. If it's worth anything, I never meant to hurt you or use you...I was just afraid.'

'But you did. Hurt me. And then every time your friends said or did anything, you were just as much a part of it. You stayed quiet. You let them carry on!' I accused.

'I- I know. Rae, please, it will never happen again. I fucked up. Please give me a chance to be your friend again?' I didn't want to accept his apologies. I was hurt and angry at the revelation but his voice actually broke as he said the words. I could hear the pain and regret and then I sighed. I was weak against him. I always had been, hadn't I? Even now it hurt...I spent three years trying to get over my ex- who wasn't even interested in girls in the first place.

But I was tired. Maybe this was the way to get closure and really move on. And I'd missed him. Even just talking to him. With a startling realization I discovered I'd missed his friendship more than anything else. This could be a new beginning for us.

'Okay Archie. But I just want to make sure of one thing before that. I wasn't the reason you turned gay, right?'

He shook his head in confusion and then our eyes met and we both started laughing.

And just like that- everything felt okay.

* * *

It wasn't all that easy though. Things couldn't go back to how they used to be- but it was a start. Mum had been just as surprised as me to see Archie after so many years. She'd thrown some concerned glances at me but had treated Archie quite warmly. She'd always liked him for his impeccable manners. I had to assure her later that nothing was going on between us two- we had just drifted apart over the years and now were re-bonding. She was happy enough with that- considering I barely had friends.

We talked of things we'd missed in each other's lives over the years. It was difficult for me. I couldn't tell him about the hospital. Despite his efforts to ask about my life, I tried to keep the conversation on him so I wouldn't have to make up a lot of stuff. But eventually he did bring one topic up- Finn's.

'What do you think of Finn?' I froze. I hadn't expected him to ask me that. He didn't wait for my answer but started talking. 'You know he is truly sorry, too. Finn's always been a bit...difficult. I think you'll remember. I'm not justifying whatever he did- but I believe he's realized he was wrong. Don't think things worked out just quite how he'd hoped they would. It all...started with a misunderstanding.'

I allowed myself to listen as Archie continued defending Finn's case. It was expected. They were best friends. I told him so.

'It's not just that, Rae. I'm telling you also because I care about you. Don't look at me that way- it's true. I do. I want you to be happy. And maybe it'll help you to know what really happened.' I listened quietly as he told me about what Chloe had done. This was just too dramatic. I couldn't believe what Chloe'd done. I was enraged, confused, and then defeated all at the same time. No use going back to those things now. I let out a laugh which startled him.

'This doesn't justify anything, Archie. It doesn't change a thing. Didn't he know me enough to realize that it couldn't be true? How could he believe it?'

'No, it doesn't. I agree with you. But Rae- you have to know Finn like I do. And I know that he'd really really liked you. More than anyone else. I've never seen him fall for someone like that.' I felt myself heating up with his words and shifted awkwardly. He must have caught the skeptic look in my eyes because he continued on. 'It's true. He was always...vulnerable. If you don't know, his mum left them, his dad and him, when we were like seven or eight...it's not my place to talk about it...but he has always had trust issues because of it I feel. I just wanted you to know- not so that you'll forgive him- but more for you. So you'd know the reason why. He thought you made a fool of him- he was really hurt. And yet he can never bring himself to stay away from you. He genuinely liked you, Rae. Still does. And I know that he regrets whatever happened.'

'Are you done advocating him? I'd rather not talk more about this, please. Not right now.' It was rude of me. Wrong, even. But I couldn't help it. And yet even as I said the words, I felt something inside of me tighten. One misunderstanding led to so much of pain...why were there thoughtless cruel people like Chloe out there? I was done blaming myself- I wouldn't anymore, not for her.

I didn't know what to think of Finn. I was struggling with my feelings around him. To think that Finn Nelson liked me, had always liked 'me'... it was more than anything I could ever have even dreamed of. I didn't believe it. I felt the butterflies fluttering inside my stomach though. He had been a right ass. He was a prick. A big knobhead. He'd hurt me a lot.

But maybe I could understand a little... I had hurt him a lot, too, though I'd never been aware of it.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Thank you for the reviews and the kind words! I didn't mean to update so slowly when I started out, but life's been unpredictable as always. Going through some difficulties and don't get a lot of time on. Thank you to everyone who sent a message. Sorry to keep you waiting and that not much happens in this one but promise to try and get things sorted soon. xx**

 _Rae's POV:_

Archie and I were at the chippy with Riley- it'd been two months since he and I had patched up. Oh, and Riley? She was the new girl in town. She'd been the one who'd smiled at me. We'd become friends over the weeks to the great astonishment of the general population at school. She was about as tall as me, which secretly pleased me as I'd been pretty much the tallest girl around, but that's where our similarities pretty much ended. She was slim, unlike yours truly, and had wavy blonde hair in contrast to my straight black and boring hair. Her features were sharp, almost pointy, though her blue eyes softened her face a bit.

I thought she was quite pretty. Too pretty to commit social suicide by befriending me, I'd say. But things had been changing this year for me. There were no more taunts or bullying- I knew Finn was hugely responsible for that. Still- I had a feeling that Riley wouldn't have cared much anyway. She was different from most of the people at school.

I couldn't help thinking how funny it was that when bad things happened to me, it started a whole chain of them and things kept getting worse. And now maybe it was time for the opposite to take place. Things were going to get better and better. It was not difficult being so optimistic when you were surrounded by good _friends_.

The word felt so strange to me. It was good to be able to use it. Claim it for my own. As I sat there laughing with my _friends_ , it felt like everything was too good to be true.

I was lost in these musings when Riley gave a sudden squeal of "Finn! You made it!" and my heart skipped a beat as Finn Nelson plopped down on the seat across mine. He gave her a quick smile while greeting everyone and then threw a glance towards me. I grimaced and quickly averted my eyes.

Things were strained between us despite Archie's best efforts at reconciliation. I could understand and even forgive Finn for whatever happened in the past but I couldn't bring myself to be with him- not like he wanted. A part of me wanted to believe he was genuine. In a way, I was secretly elated to be at the receiving end of his affections. Who wouldn't? This was the stuff of dreams. Which was also probably why I couldn't fully accept it.

Believe me I wanted to. Oh, so bad. I'd entertained hundreds of fantasies with him starring in the lead role. But somehow when it came to being around him- I could not help myself from antagonizing him. He took it all in stride though. Sometimes he was infuriatingly obliging. The nicer he acted, the madder I felt.

Well, maybe I was acting wrong but can you blame me for doubting his sincerity after all he'd put me through? 'He hasn't changed, hasn't changed, hasn't changed…' My stubborn thoughts revolved around the mantra. It certainly didn't help that Riley was on team Finn. I was surprised a girl like her would fall prey to Finn's charms like all the other girls…alright, that was unfair. Finn had been on his best behavior ever since his confession. He'd been different. But was it a temporary thing? Or…

'Earth to Rae!' a voice called. I looked to see Riley threatening to burst into laughter. Shoot. I looked up embarrassed to be the centre of everyone's attentions. Archie was smirking at me. Finn pretended to be interested in a crevice on the table- was that a blush? And I swear I could see the hint of a smile on his face. To my mortification, I realized I had been staring at him all this while.

'Archie, I'm going to kill you. You forgot to bring me your notes again, didn't you? Come. Now. I absolutely must have them before tomorrow. Sorry gotta go, fellas. You'll both be fine, right? Finn, do you think you can walk Rae home? It's pretty late. Cool. Thanks!' The words came out in a rush and before I could protest or react in any way, she'd grabbed Archie and pulled him out of the place with her.

It was just me and him now. Finn and I. What I'd been successfully avoiding all this time in spite of his relentless efforts to get me alone. I threw a furtive glance towards him. He was looking right at me. His expression gave away nothing.

My heart raced in anticipation.

 _Riley, you traitor!  
_


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: I hope you will like it! Didn't want to make you all wait so long again. xx**

 _Rae's POV:_

It might have been only half a minute perhaps in reality but the silence seemed to stretch on. I was getting nervous with every passing second. It was getting almost unbearable when Finn finally broke the silence.

"Umm, Rae…" he started.

But before he could continue, I said hurriedly, ''I- I should go."

I made to get up but he placed a hand on my arm. ''Rae, please. We need to talk. You can't keep running away. Not without-"

But I suddenly stood up, not letting him finish. ''I'm sorry, I have to go."

With that I walked out. I must have taken a dozen steps before I heard him call out my name again. Hesitating for a second, I decided to ignore him and keep walking.

I couldn't bear to face him alone. These two months it was one thing I had managed to avoid. Time alone with him. It was easier to be strong that way. My heart thudded along with the steps I heard following after me. It was all I could do to not start running.

And then I did.

"Rae! Rae, stop please.''

He was getting close. I didn't stop.

I knew I was being silly and irrational. But the fear was too great. _Fear of Finn? Or fear of yourself?_ I didn't know. It didn't matter.

It didn't take him long to catch up.

''Rae!'' This time his voice was a lot more forceful.

He grabbed me by the shoulders, not roughly but not very gently either. I was forced to face him as he turned me towards himself. I was breathing hard from that little bit of exercise.

I struggled to get out of his strong grip. "Let go of me."

His grip didn't loosen. Slowly, he pushed me back until I felt something solid behind me- he'd backed me into an alley wall.

''Finn, what are you doing?'' I cried out.

And then words failed me as my eyes met his. He was gazing at me with an intense determined look- with that tinge of something in his eyes I couldn't quite place. But it was familiar. Too familiar. And for a second, I was overtaken by panic. All the courage I thought I'd grown left me at that instant.

 _Perhaps I had driven him to the point of frustration and madness. All this time of rebuffing his advances and avoiding him had brought me here. I should have heard him out at least once. Was it too late now? What…what was he going to do to me?_ I tore my eyes away from his, lowering my gaze to my feet. My hands clenched the hem of my shirt in nervousness.

''Please…'' My voice came out barely above a whisper.

Perhaps realizing how I felt, he abruptly let go and stepped away. "I'm- I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you,'' he said. Seconds ticked by but I couldn't meet his gaze.

''Rae…'' Something about the tenderness in his voice as he spoke my name made me look up. His expression was soft. Letting out a shaky breath, I felt myself relax, if only a little. I had no reason to be afraid of Finn. I had forgiven him already, hadn't I? He had given me no reason to regret it so far. I could just hear him out once. It wouldn't hurt anybody.

As I was contemplating these things, slowly, cautiously almost, he drew closer again. My heart was racing- I felt a weird mix of fear and excitement. Was this normal?

He took one of my hands in his. "I l-…, '' He paused and his eyes searched mine for a deliberate moment before continuing, "You already know how I feel about you, Rae.''

 _No, I don't know._ A stubborn voice sounded inside. My eyes darted again to the ground but he gently grabbed my chin and raised it, making me look up again into his eyes. Conflicting emotions stormed within me. But he could read my mind perhaps; for he leaned in close… our faces were just inches apart now.

He stilled my racing heart for the briefest of seconds with his next few words.

"I. Love. You."

His voice was low, husky; his expressive mouth moving sensually to enunciate each word slowly, deliberately.

"Don't- please…'' My voice came out weak.

But Finn had come determined to not let me get away this time. I knew.

'' I know I've fucked up real bad in the past. I know I hurt you a lot. There's no excuse for it. I wish I could take back everything but I can't... Rae, I've never given you any reason to believe me. But I'll do anything to make it up to you… if you just give me a chance, you won't regret it…I'm sorry, so sorry…'' he spoke in the same husky voice. Staring into his face, I felt the sincerity and pain behind his words.

He continued his passionate monologue as I listened in stunned silence, ''I love you. I love you. And ever since I've realized it myself, I've felt like it was too late. I won't force you to accept me, Rae. I know you probably have a huge list filled with things you hate about me. You are right to reject me, to hurt me however you may wish… you can have your revenge… and I- I will leave you alone. I promise I will stop. But you just have to tell me you don't feel anything for me…not even a little. Because you and I both know that somewhere amidst all the hate, there's always been something more between us. All those good times we spent together before…And that time you kissed me, you felt something too, I know you did…'' His tone was pleading.

He suddenly took hold of me and pulled me close to him; I fell into him with a surprised sound escaping my lips. My hands pressed against his chest, steadying myself.

''Rae, just say you feel nothing for me and I will pretend as if there's never been anything… I will not trouble you anymore.'' His eyes held mine and it felt like they spoke more than words ever could. I could feel him leaning in slowly, one hand reaching up to caress my cheek. He was going to kiss me.

At the last moment, I turned my face sideways. My eyes were shut tight and my heart was thudding painfully in my chest. He noticed. I could feel him move away from me, turning to leave. He was actually going to just let me go. Something in that moment- it worked where words might have failed. I didn't know what came over me.

I felt myself clutch at the front of his jacket and pull him back. I didn't see the surprise on his face or feel the strange expression on mine. I didn't know how or when I actually did it, except that I did. I was the one to make the move.

My lips crashed against his and the world burned away.


	15. Last Chapter

A/N: Thank you all who review and/or enjoy my story! I'm aware my writing skills need a lot of work but it makes me so happy to read supportive comments and also to know that someone out there has liked my work. I don't think I could have carried on this far if it weren't for you all. So thank you! :3 This is it- the last chapter.

* * *

 _ **Rae's POV:**_

My brain was screaming at me but it was all fuzzy- my lips had a mind of their own as they moved passionately against his. I was kissing Finn effing Nelson! When my muddled head cleared a bit, it dawned on me that I was kissing a very _still_ Finn effing Nelson. Was I doing something wrong? Was he under the effects of shock?

It must have been the latter perhaps for just as I was about to lose nerve and move away, feeling mortified at my own boldness, he finally moved to wrap his arms around my waist and pull me closer. And then his sweet luscious mouth was ravaging my own nervous one. My heart was ready to burst out of my ribcage. This time I really couldn't think.

All I knew was in that moment, I needed him. And then more of him. All of him.

Somewhere during the kiss, I found myself sandwiched between him and the wall; our bodies merged into one. My hands that had been clutching the front of his shirt were wrapped around his neck; my fingers playing with the deliciously soft curls just above the nape of his neck. Then he moaned and it sent these strange, yet not unpleasant, tremors through me- right down to the tips of my toes. One of his hands fisted in my hair, and he moved my head to deepen the kiss further- I felt like he was going to devour me whole.

And then his lips were trailing down my neck nipping, licking, biting- sending tingles shooting up my spine and extracting embarrassing moans from my mouth which only seemed to spur him on further. His hands were everywhere. I clutched at him tightly as his burning lips settled on my pulse point, sucking hard. How could anything feel so good? So right? Time stilled.

Finn was the one to break it off, mumbling something about control and taking things slow that I did not really comprehend fully due to a severe incapacity to focus on his words at the time.

We were both breathless and panting when it finally ended; my whole body was flushed with heat. He was still holding me close. I found myself gazing into his eyes. They were so dark yet there was something warm and soft in his look. He was smiling at me. I couldn't help but return it with a tentative smile of my own.

My eyes fixed on his collar so I wouldn't have to look him directly in the eyes. I could feel myself blushing as the last fifteen minutes or so of our make-out session sank in. Or was it an hour? It felt like it had ended too soon though. Way too soon. I wondered if he was just as flustered as I was feeling. I hoped he was.

He lifted my chin, so I would look at him, and then moved in to place a chaste kiss on my lips. He pulled back a little and I found myself melting into those warm brown eyes. They were the color of deep, rich, dark chocolate.

''I've waited to do that for a very long time,'' he leaned in to whisper, his voice hot and husky in my ear. At his confession, I felt an altogether different kind of warmth spread throughout my body. _Happiness?_

I didn't know where we'd go from here. I didn't know what the future would bring. I didn't know what exactly I felt for Finn except that there was something between us- that much was undeniable. Perhaps I didn't have to have all the answers with me right away. I could figure it out along the way… I had the time. Something about the way he looked at me told me that we would have a lot of time ahead of us to figure out whatever it was that was between us. And I was willing to give it a try.

''I don't believe you,'' I half-teased him shyly, looking up to meet his smiling eyes.

''I- I don't care if you believe me.'' There was a playful glint in his eyes. _Cheeky bastard._

 _You will- by the time I'm done with you, Finn Nelson._ I swore silently.

And with that sombre intent in mind, I solemnly grabbed him by his leather jacket and yanked an unsuspecting Finn to myself, relishing the all-too-satisfying look of surprise on his beautiful face this time around.


End file.
